Bum Scum!

We've been looking for two words that sum tomorrows opponents the Coleraine scum and we think we've found them in 'bum scum'. That headline sums up our rival from the North-West succinctly in our opinion, they're most definitely bums and they're are scum, end of story. United go into this derby racked with injuries and suspensions, depriving them of at least two midfielders and the Seven Towers supporters player of month for November, fullback Tony Kane. As with the Glens match which was postponed on last Saturday, we haven't a clue about team selection and can only guess which Spike might do. We at 'Sport think he needs to recall Dwayne in goals and it's a toss-up between Vaulsey and Rodgers for the rightback slot, the rest of the defence will be on the usual lines, of Cookie, Archie and Ross (Black), we have nobody to challenge them.

It's in midfield we are struggling at the moment and we know it's alien for Spike to think anything but 4,3,3, but surely its a case of 'horses for courses' and with that in mind we'd like to see him start a midfield four of, King Billy (Bingham), Sparky, Jenks and Cush. Cush is the backbone of our midfield and he gives support to his fullback and he can get forward and help his forwards. Now we come to the crucial picks, we were championing for Elvis to be recalled in a starting role for last Saturday's damp squib at the Oval and we unashamedly call for him to get the nod tomorrow. We have to take the game to the Coleraine scum, it's the only way we have of upsetting them, they won't expect it and as corporal Jones used to say on Dads Army, they won't like it up 'em. On the subject of who to partner Elvis we have come up with an option of Jamie in the first half and Lowry in the 2nd half.

It'd be brave decision, but fortune favours the brave and Spike was never scared to take a chance in his playing days. He already has got one up on his former playing partner, Oran 'the diving bird' Kearney, having won a senior trophy in just a year of management. We say a senior trophy, all the scum have won in their short history, is that Northwest cup, better known as the reserves cup. But all that will be forgotten tomorrow when the two lock horns to see who is the best tactician in this latest battle of wits and maybe more importantly who is celebrating with their fans at the final whistle. It goes without saying that'll we need a strong referee and we haven't a clue who it is, but all we can wish for is somebody who takes into consideration what this match means to both teams and their supporters and doesn't go flourishing yellow cards or the dreaded red cards 'willy nilly'. We all hope for a tough match, no quarter ask or given and the right result, come on Sky Blues, lets shag those Coleraine scum!