Fat Trimmers!

It's a new year tomorrow and United's first resolution is to 'trim the fat' and they can make a start with the 'fat controller', aka Linfield manager David Jeffrey. The bigoted Jeffrey has been stirring the 'pot' all week by leaking news that he has signed United keeper Alan Blaney and wants to sign top scorer Neal Teggart, but you don't fool us Davey, all you're trying to do is break our team spirit, but it won't wash. United manager Roy Walker is much too wily an old fox to let himself be fooled by an upstart like Jeffrey, he knows that the Linfield bigot is trying to reflect attention away from the shortcomings of his own under-performing players. The team news for United is not good, with stand-in Captain Stuarty King out with a broken ankle and his purported replacement Phillip Carson's loan deal from Glentoran being rescinded, the manager is down to the bare bones of his squad. In a move to bolster his injury hit squad Walker has sought permission to talk to former United player Paul Muir and if he gets him United's fans will have to come to terms with Muir's part in the 'Lamb Shank' fiasco (still fresh in our minds) and put it behind them, welcoming him back into the fold. It's unlikely Muir would be available for tomorrow's game anyway and with the 'Cush' passed fit it's a straight choice between Liam Mullan and Ryan Deans, assuming all other players are fit. Manager Walker would not be drawn on whether he would omit Alan Blayney from his starting line-up if it transpired that he had held talks with the 'fat' controller, or indeed any Linfield official, without notifying our club. It was nice to see the large number of fans at the Showgrounds on Boxing Day (biggest competitive gate in recent history)and hopefully there'll be a decent turn-out for tomorrow's game at Windsor Park. Here we go once again, it's all systems go for another three points, come on United, let's shag those villagers!