Bad Ducks!

A wee man we know has a bad opinion of ducks, he says they're all bad and the only good duck is a dead duck. We're inclined to agree with him, being partial to a bit of duck pate and unfortunately you can't get pate off live ducks, at least as far as we know. United need to treat the ducks tomorrow as bad ducks and do them down (unintended pun) and claim the three points , for there's harder times coming with games against the big two, Blues, Glens, Chickenville and a trip to that stinkville ground, Coleraine, to play the scum.

We mean no disrespect to the Mallards, they're ten places below us in the league table, but any team, can beat any other team, on any given day in this league, but its a game we need to win. No doubt about it, its going to be hard, we expect nothing else from  the boys of Lakeland, but its a game we've got to take full points from, if this early season form is going to count for anything. As luck would have it, we have drawn a real short straw and Raymond 'dick-head' Crangle, has been appointed to referee the game.

United fans will need no reminding of what Dick is capable of, he can take a perfectly balanced game and turn it on its head with one or two daft decisions. There's no point in appealing to his better nature, he's hasn't  got one, he's just a plain awkward critter, in other words, a genuine dick-head. But United can do nothing about  that and we'll just have to work with his awkwardness and for the second away game in a row, we hope its not the referee that makes all the headlines.

We fervently hope that Cush and his lack of shots on Tuesday night, was just a blip on the horizon, for we need our talisman to be firing shots in willy nilly and unsettling the opposition in the process. With a near fully fit squad to choose from ( no news about Thommo and Alan D yet ), will Fergie be tempted to make any changes.? It might be a chance to rest Cookie and promote the fit again Kyley but we wouldn't try to second guess Spike. Its going to be a tough ask, but we can do it, come on Sky Blues, lets slay those bad ducks