Good News!

Good news, that is a strange headline, for in fact we have no news, but the old adage says that ‘no news is good news’. In this case nothing could be further from the truth, as despite all the ‘noises’ made at the Seven Towers supporter’s club dinner about the club moving in the ‘Wright’ direction, the truth is that the club is still going backwards. Last year we reached the Irish cup semi-final and finished 8th in the league, this year, with the manager given a fairly free hand, we are still 8th in the league (even a win tomorrow at Institute may still keep us in 8th) and reached the County Antrim Shield final. Reaching any final is an achievement for us, but the County Antrim is, in all fairness, really a ‘second rate’ competition and we thought our feat last year in reaching the cup semi, was a much greater achievement. The reason we have no ‘news’ can be laid squarely at the door of ‘one individual (we were going to say man, but we think individual is a much truer representation of them), who we will refer to in future as, hm. Now hm is ‘wracked’ with jealousy as he (we cannot in all honesty call him a web master), has promised much over the years and delivered practically, ‘sweet F. A.’. Hm complained that we, Sky Blue Sport, had in effect a ‘mole’ within the club, a complete and utter fabrication. But the knock-on effect is that decent United supporters are now afraid to bid us the time of day in case hm sees them talking to us and in turn implicates them. Let us state here categorically, we at ‘Sport would love to see six or seven good United web sites in operation, competition after all keeps us all sharp, so we have no axe to grind with anybody. But what we detest is ‘people’ (we use this word in its loosest form), wracked with jealousy, who just can’t see ‘green cheese’, to coin a phrase. So hm, get off your fat ass and get your act together, empty promises won’t cut the mustard, as the old saying goes, ‘You can fool some of the people, all of the time, all of the people, some of the time, But you can’t fool all of the people, all of the time’! Hm, you are fooling nobody, it’s ‘high’ time for you to shut up or put up and it’s also time for you to let those who can ‘do’, get on with it. As for tomorrows team news here we go with our guesses, McFrederick back in goal, Addis though better at cross balls is a poor shot stopper. Kieran Donaghy at right back, Albert back in the centre, Randal Reid given at least a place on the bench. Really we don’t have a clue, but then neither it seems does our management team, so who knows what sort of team we’ll have tomorrow. We will endeavour to keep true United fans informed of any developments during the close season, so for the last time this season let’s say, ‘Let’s shag those Stutonians’ (there’s a new word for you), good luck United, we think, you’ll probably need it!

Gary Gone!

Did Big Gary Smyth play his last game for United when the Sky Blues lost to Lisburn Distillery three weeks ago? That is the question on the lips of United fans as our team Captain is once again absent tomorrow. We at ‘Sport are wondering what Big Tam will do to shore up the ‘leaky’ Sky Blue defence. Surely he must rest Willie McFrederick as we have now reached the point of no return, where nothing short of four victories will see us wrestle fourth place from the clutch of clubs now chasing it. Tommy must surely also recognise that Gary Haveron will never be a midfielder and in the continued absence of Smyth should select the Larne man in defence alongside another Larne man, Gordon Simms. This would be a bit hard on yet another East Antrim stalwart, Albert Watson, but he could be accommodated at rightback, where Kieran Donaghy has been poor to say the least. Richard Rowe is another who must get a start and then it’ll be a toss-up for the central midfield roles between, Sweeney, Scates and Aiden Watson. Stuarty King will no doubt retain his left wing position, with Craig McClean occupying the leftback slot. That only leaves the strike force to be sorted and again we believe it’s perm any two from the three of Kelbie, Hamill and the fit again Paul Brown. Hamill has been showing the form of late that made him one of the most feared players in the league and for this reason we believe Tommy will start with Hamill and the speedy Kelbie upfront, leaving Brown to warm the bench with the veteran Boydie and whoever loses out in centre-midfield. If the team bears absolutely no resemblance to what we have said here we won’t be at all surprised, as at the end of the day we’re trying to second guess the United manager. So here we go with the ‘Big Stick’ and the ‘carrot’, if you fail to beat the Coleraine ‘scum’ tomorrow, we will jeer you off the pitch, but if you win, you’ll all be heroes. It’s as simple as that, its win or bust tomorrow, so come on ‘let’s shag those Bannsiders’!

Beautiful Dreamers!

As we approach our ‘fourth’ cup final, what are the chances of a victory we ask ourselves? Surprisingly, yes surprisingly, pretty good in our opinion. Let’s face it, Portadown without the backings of M.M.K., are a pretty ordinary lot and they’re missing a couple of players for tomorrow’s game also. Okay we hear you say, ‘one of them’s Jamie Marks and he was less than impressive as a Sky Blue. But there’s a subtle difference now, Jamie has realised if he don’t play, he don’t get paid and believe us, that makes a big difference. But enough about the Ports, what about the underperforming Sky Blues. United manager, Tommy, Wright! Wright! Wright!, says in this weeks Ballymena Times,  that we must get behind the team and then and only then we can go on and clinch a fourth spot in the league. Tommy, in our opinion (the one and only United web site still functioning or has there been another ‘rising’?), is putting the cart before the horse. Let’s get back to winning ways Tommy and then you’ll see the real Sky Blue support. We have suffered long and hard, through thick and thin (mostly thin), but we’re still here and ‘mugs’ that we are, we’ll probably still be here next season. So now it’s over to you big Tam, give us a good result tomorrow and we’ll cheer you all the way to the finishing line! Team news is, we don’t have a clue, but let’s try and guess anyway. United are trying a new formation tomorrow, Gary Smyth if fit, will partner Albert Watson and Kieran Donaghy in a back three, then it’ll be Scatesy, Haveron, Sweeney and Stuarty King in midfield, with the United talisman Rory Hamill playing behind a front two of Kevin Kelbie and Paul Brown. If this is the team for tomorrow, please contact Bruce Balmer and he will give the winning lottery numbers for the next five weeks. That’s is how fanciful this forecast is, but as usual all we gotta say is, ‘let’s shag those Apple Pickers!’